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I Can Only Take So Much

A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill

With all these bombs that are dropping on me
The light in the dark I can not see,
It’s hard to have faith when the light goes out
It’s hard not to have thoughts of doubt.

There’s so much pain I can’t take it no more
I’m curled up crying on the floor,
I’m begging for mercy to that God of mine
Please relive my pain and make the sun shine.

I can’t take it I’ve screamed and cried till my eyes were sore
I’m overwhelmed I can’t do it, I can’t take it no more
I’m stressed I’m pressed to the max
I can’t take it, even my suffering comes with tax.

I’m only human, someone have a heart
I can’t hold it together I’m falling apart,
There’s so much on my shoulders your breakin’ my back
My problems aren’t in a list they in a stack.

So much that I can’t carry it all
I can’t do it I’m gonna fall.
I guess this is life, and it all comes with a price
I’m rackin’ my brain like game board dice,

How can I live day to day
If it’s all unfair this way.
The rich stay rich and the poor stay how they are
If you ain’t savage like that then you don’t get far,
Out there in the world it’s everyone one on they’re own It’s all just a game you find out when you’ve grown.

Marriage is no longer I do ‘till I die
No one goes to high school, they go to school high,
If you watch yourself then you’ll do fine
But if not you’ll wind up pregnant or working the streets for a dime.

You’ll find out that life’s not fair
You may have problems but no one has to care,
All the good ones they change for the bad
They throw it away not appreciating what they had.

The innocent lives are claimed to tragedy
Life isn’t so fair, it’s quite sad ya see,
Nothing will have to go your way
It has no pity if you’re having a bad day.
It has no sympathy to all who are suffering
It's so unpredictable so predict anything.

Life is so unfair
It has no soul and doesn’t care
No one has to be there when you fall
It takes it one by one or takes it all.

It will leave you feeling like all is lost
I feel as if the pain precedes its cost,
I can’t hold it on my shoulders
I feel as if the world is over.

It can’t get worse the sun will shine
The pain I have it’s all mine,
But I’ll wake up and it will still be there
Blankly to the sky I stare,
Is there no mercy for one who follows?
I know the answer my pride I swallow
There is no mercy for anyone
It’s not over if you think you’ve won
It doesn’t stop, not now not ever
It will follow my path, be my shadow forever.


       Who Am I       Faith, Hope, Triumph and Tragedy        Oncology       This Curse

       High School       Life is One Tough Pill to Swallow       Emotions       Other Stories and Poems


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