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I Live a Lie

A Childhood Cancer Survivor Poem
© 2016 Christine Mulvihill

I live alone, I live a lie
Awaiting the day I say goodbye
Whenever I turn around disaster strikes
Pins and needles, knives and spikes.

Just when you think things couldn’t get worse
I’m smacked in the face with this curse
Whirled around till I’m miserable once more
Shaken until my body collapses on the floor.

In my room I can escape
And mold my worries into shape
I cry in pain until I just can’t any more
And listen to music to ease the sore.

Knowing it will all come back again
Sunshine pierced by pouring rain
Like tears of sadness splashing down on joy
Emotions are unpredictable as a toy.

At its mercy like a puppet on a string
A trapped dove without wings
On my head, always alone
Maybe one day I can fly home
Fly high looking down on this pain
Maybe one day I’ll be happy again.


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